Losses Past Six Months

Thanks to the "PROM Queens" A Small Victory will be offering the new Forever Kit for losses that have occured over six months ago. A Small Victory understands that grief is a life long challenge and that you will never "get over" the loss of your child, therefore the Forever Kit was designed with long term grief in mind and is focused of remembrance and hope for future. The Forever Kit is also appropriate for any bereaved parent with out consideration to the age or the cause of death of the child the parents are grieving for. To donate to the Forever Kit project please use designation code: "Forever". A minimum budget of $2,500 is needed for this project to begin.

A loss of a child is never something you ever “get over” and you certainly don’t forget. The first few months after your loss your world is in a constant state of turmoil and shock. Your days and nights run together and you never know if you’ll ever be “back to normal”. Now that it’s be longer than six months, you know that your life will never be normal again, you are living the “new normal”, the normal after your child died - you are now a childless parent. Here is where a lot of decisions must be made - Do I talk about him? Do I have another child? Have other people forgotten? How do I continue to remember? Is it okay that I’m not crying every day? If I have another child, will people think I’m “over it”? What do I do with all her baby clothes and blankets? Can I keep his room just the way it is?

Your life now is a tribute to your child, you are a walking, talking, breathing memorial to your baby and you must live your life in memory of them. Your decisions are your own and every single person makes a different decision, there is no wrong way to grieve and there is no wrong way to remember.*

Here is a list of ideas for you to remember your child.

• Roxane at Heavenly Hugs Bears can make wonderful teddy bears out of your child’s clothes or blankets. This is a wonderful way to have something to hold or to gift to a sibling.
• Similarly, a quilt can be made you or a friend from any fabric (clothes, blankets, bibs, etc.) that remind you of your baby. Often none of these things were ever used but still hold a place in your heart. Even if it’s just a fabric you saw at the store that reminds you of your baby. I like to think that, wrapping the quilt around you, is like your baby giving you a hug.
• Memorial gardens can be planted. Use flowers that attract butterflies, or bloom flowers in a color that makes you think of your child. Custom stepping stones can be made from kits found at your craft store.
• Heidi at Wee Bundles and Kim at Remember Me Preemie can make custom dolls to the same weight and measurements of your baby. These are wonderful keepsakes.
• Consider having a remembrance jewelry piece made at My Forever Child.
• Having a portrait drawn or painted of your child is also a wonderful memorial.

After six months is also a great time to get involved. Please consider volunteering your time to an organization or hosting a fundraiser in memory of your child. Please contact Liz Allen if you are interested in doing either of these for A Small Victory.

*Please remember that we are always here to talk with if you need someone. We have been through loss and are readily available. Keep in mind, we are not medically trained, we are just parents who have lost a child. If you ever feel like the “fog” is not clearing or you have thoughts of hurting yourself or others, please see a medical professional.