Baby Putman

first born child to Bryce & Heidi of Clearfield, UT

No matter how long our babies are with us, we carry a special place for them in our hearts. The moment the pregnancy test comes back positive, our minds race with all of the hopes and expectations of the little life growing inside of us. Sometimes, those dreams are cut short and we are left with an intense sense of loss and longing.

In Spring of 2007 Heidi and Bryce were excited to discover they were expecting their first child. Though the baby came as a surprise, they felt as though their child was a gift from God and they were overjoyed with the news. Before they had a chance to set up a nursery, buy cute baby clothes, or even find out the sex of their baby, however, their little one was gone.

After about nine weeks of pregnancy, Heidi began spotting, which her doctors assured her was common. A few days later, on June 15th, 2007 Heidi started bleeding profusely and was admitted to the hospital where they informed her through ultrasound and blood work that she was having a miscarriage. She was hooked up to an IV and given medication that made her drowsy. She continued to bleed which worried the nurses and caused Heidi to fear for her life. Her husband stood by her side, holding her hand while she cried.

Heidi was discharged from the hospital and sent home with a short description on what miscarriage was, and the types of medication she was instructed to take. Heidi and Bryce went home and tearfully informed relatives that their baby was gone. Heidi regrets not burying her baby after it emerged a few days later, and holds on to the few precious mementos she has of her child’s life: an ultrasound picture and a heart-shaped charm provided by A Small Victory’s Loss Kit.

The Loss Kit Bryce and Heidi received after they had miscarried helped guide them through the grieving process of losing their child. The pamphlets and journal were both cathartic and informative for Heidi in understanding what had happened, and the heart-shaped charm is something Heidi uses to remember her baby daily. The necklace helps her to know that her baby is with her always.

Though losing a child is never easy, Heidi believes God had bigger plans for her baby. “Heaven did not have enough angels,” Heidi explains. “God wanted to keep our baby with him to watch over me and my husband. We will meet our baby one day.”

 

written by Lindsay Maddox