Aaron James

first born son to Aaron & Autumn of Hutchinson, KS

High school sweethearts Aaron and Autumn were friends for many years before they began dating during Autumn’s junior year. Three and a half years later, they were married in their hometown by a pastor, a close friend to both of their families. Candles and music created the ambience to their marriage vows, and their siblings and close friends stood by their side as groomsmen and bridesmaids. Following their kiss at the alter, sealing them together as husband and wife, they greeted their loved ones in a small reception at the church. Then, it was off to their honeymoon in Colorado, and the start of their married life.

The fairytale continued when, three years later, Aaron and Autumn were blessed with Ava, and then a while later, another baby girl named Adalyn. When their youngest was just four months old, Autumn and Aaron found out they were expecting again. Though they weren’t trying, the pregnancy came as a bit of a surprise, but a happy one. The pregnancy went well, like both of Autumn’s previous pregnancies, with no morning sickness and overall good health. At their twenty week ultrasound, Aaron and Autumn were ecstatic to find out they would be welcoming their first little boy.

To prepare for their son, Aaron and Autumn purchased boy clothes, many of them fire truck outfits since Daddy is a fireman. They purchased material to make a blanket, and were going to buy fire truck bedding, but the devastating news about their son’s health changed their minds. It was soon discovered their baby boy had a condition called Trisomy 18, a disorder caused by an extra 18th chromosome. The child Aaron and Autumn had named Aaron James or “A.J.,” after his daddy and grandpa, would likely not live till birth, or if born, not live long after.

At 34 weeks Autumn’s water broke. She will never forget the overwhelming feeling of entering the maternity ward, a place where she had previously entered, happy and excited to deliver her daughters, and now the place where she broke down in tears knowing that her baby may not be coming home with her. Her labor progressed easily, aided by Pitocin, and A.J. was delivered after only three pushes. A.J. was placed on Autumn’s chest where she poured out “I love yous” that would have to last a lifetime. She took in his features, told him he was beautiful, and passed A.J. on to Aaron who loved on him until he died peacefully in Aaron’s arms.

The family spent seven hours with tiny A.J., taking pictures, snuggling him, dressing him and undressing him to get the traditional naked baby pictures, and telling him how much they loved him. Later, they held a funeral service to lay A.J.’s body to rest. Aaron had built the casket where A.J. was placed with a picture of his family, letters from Mommy and Daddy, and a heart from the inside of his mommy’s necklace held in his tiny hands. After the funeral, Aaron carried A.J.’s casket to the hearse and placed him gently inside, and at the cemetery, placed him in his grave. A.J.’s big sisters each placed a pink rose on top of his casket to say their goodbyes.

Though their loss was difficult, Aaron and Autumn are thankful for the amount of time they were able to spend with their son. They are thankful too for the CARE Package provided by A Small Victory that was given to them before A.J.’s birth. They found a number of items in the package useful both before and after the loss of their baby. Books and pamphlets to prepare them for the loss, a clay footprint kit where they were able to keep a physical reminder of their little boy, the heart shaped charm that Autumn wears, and A.J. holds in his hands, are just a few of the items in the CARE Package that helped them with the loss of A.J. For them, A Small Victory’s CARE Package gave them memories they would not otherwise have had, memories that go much further beyond mementos from the hospital. In addition, reading about others who have been through their same situation gave the couple more confidence in dealing with medical professionals and in doing what they felt was right with regards to their baby boy, not worrying about criticism or judgment. Although Autumn and Aaron wish they could have had more time with their son, they feel as though they were able to maximize the time they did have, thanks in large part to A Small Victory. “It was a comfort to know that someone else has been there and cares,” Autumn said. “It helped me to know that I wasn't alone, and that other people knew our son's life, no matter how short, mattered.”

 

written by Lindsay Maddox